Life and Therapy in a Small Town
(January 4, 2009)
"Well I was born in a small town
And I live in a small town
Prob'ly die in a small town
Oh, those small communities"
(" Small Town" by John Mellencamp)
(" Small Town" by John Mellencamp)
and the phone rings at 3:45 am...and i am startled, of course... shocked: my god, has someone died? what has happened? who is calling? am i even awake? dread, cold fear, tightening in my chest and stomach...thick, groggy, crazy thinking...
wait! my daughter, barely 15...just left not quite an hour ago...yeah, she drives at 15, school permit here in nebraska...rural rules...we live out in the boonies, 12 miles to school and she has a "speech meet" with other students in a town 4 hours away...they have to be at the meet by 8 am, so catch her local school bus at 3:30am and the school bus driver drives these students to that far away town...
"dr fitts?", i hear a voice on the phone..."this is officer brian...from the police department..." "what? yes?" i say...fearing..."well, i was just patroling around the high school after the students left to go to their meet and saw your daughter's car and she left the headlights on...i tried to reach in and turn the lights off, but the car is locked...wanted to let you know so you could come in if you wanted and turn them off before the battery died..."
oh my...relief! "officer, thank you...i thought something bad had happened...no problem...(i am laughing, goofy, giddy a bit) i will just let it be...i will be in later and jump it...thanks so much!"...
headlights...crisis of the night...small places where people bump into each other...the goods and bads of small town living...
so, i am driving a hundred miles from my home, in the beautiful sandhills of this land, enjoying the warm spring afternoon and i stop at a tiny village along highway 2...get a pop, maybe a piece of homemade pie at the cafe...i settle in at the counter and the waitress smiles and says "hi dr. fitts!" and i am taken back...oh my, i do recognize her...a client from several years ago...we laugh and she says she and her husband are doing well, along with a new baby! and i feel happy and amazed at this little gift...and the door opens and, honest, a delivery man walks in with supplies for the store and he says "hi royce!" and it is john, from another far away town, working on his saturday route, a client now, and that is the way it is...no pretense, just normal small town stuff...a hundred miles from home...
and i have friends in rhode island who laugh at how "everything is always compared to how small" their state is and i think of the vastness of this western prairie and make a silly joke to my self that this small town, this region that acts like a small town, is 14 times the size of rhode island! and it is still just a "small town"...spread across hundreds of miles...
and, another time, my old chevy van that i insisted on keeping, broke down in town at a restaurant and i left it overnight, deciding i would get it to the mechanic the next day...except he calls me a few hours later and says "hey doc, saw your van downtown and figured it had broken down again, so i just towed it in to the shop...wanted you to know"...
therapy is to be confidential, private...so it is common for clients to sometimes ask to see me in a different office, not in their particular town, but in one of my other offices in another town, even if that means a two hour drive...ok, good idea...and, one day, in my main office, i had just finished a session with a person from another town...she steps out into the waiting room and sees a person, also from even a different town (i had three separate offices then)...she stops and says, "are you...?" and the other person says "yes?" and then they remember that they are long lost friends from high school and hug and laugh and become life long best friends from that day on!
i can't even write most of the other stories because, well, it is about us! and we know each other and therapy is as private as can be...
and johnnie cougar mellencamp is so very right...
small is, not painless, beautiful...
wait! my daughter, barely 15...just left not quite an hour ago...yeah, she drives at 15, school permit here in nebraska...rural rules...we live out in the boonies, 12 miles to school and she has a "speech meet" with other students in a town 4 hours away...they have to be at the meet by 8 am, so catch her local school bus at 3:30am and the school bus driver drives these students to that far away town...
"dr fitts?", i hear a voice on the phone..."this is officer brian...from the police department..." "what? yes?" i say...fearing..."well, i was just patroling around the high school after the students left to go to their meet and saw your daughter's car and she left the headlights on...i tried to reach in and turn the lights off, but the car is locked...wanted to let you know so you could come in if you wanted and turn them off before the battery died..."
oh my...relief! "officer, thank you...i thought something bad had happened...no problem...(i am laughing, goofy, giddy a bit) i will just let it be...i will be in later and jump it...thanks so much!"...
headlights...crisis of the night...small places where people bump into each other...the goods and bads of small town living...
so, i am driving a hundred miles from my home, in the beautiful sandhills of this land, enjoying the warm spring afternoon and i stop at a tiny village along highway 2...get a pop, maybe a piece of homemade pie at the cafe...i settle in at the counter and the waitress smiles and says "hi dr. fitts!" and i am taken back...oh my, i do recognize her...a client from several years ago...we laugh and she says she and her husband are doing well, along with a new baby! and i feel happy and amazed at this little gift...and the door opens and, honest, a delivery man walks in with supplies for the store and he says "hi royce!" and it is john, from another far away town, working on his saturday route, a client now, and that is the way it is...no pretense, just normal small town stuff...a hundred miles from home...
and i have friends in rhode island who laugh at how "everything is always compared to how small" their state is and i think of the vastness of this western prairie and make a silly joke to my self that this small town, this region that acts like a small town, is 14 times the size of rhode island! and it is still just a "small town"...spread across hundreds of miles...
and, another time, my old chevy van that i insisted on keeping, broke down in town at a restaurant and i left it overnight, deciding i would get it to the mechanic the next day...except he calls me a few hours later and says "hey doc, saw your van downtown and figured it had broken down again, so i just towed it in to the shop...wanted you to know"...
therapy is to be confidential, private...so it is common for clients to sometimes ask to see me in a different office, not in their particular town, but in one of my other offices in another town, even if that means a two hour drive...ok, good idea...and, one day, in my main office, i had just finished a session with a person from another town...she steps out into the waiting room and sees a person, also from even a different town (i had three separate offices then)...she stops and says, "are you...?" and the other person says "yes?" and then they remember that they are long lost friends from high school and hug and laugh and become life long best friends from that day on!
i can't even write most of the other stories because, well, it is about us! and we know each other and therapy is as private as can be...
and johnnie cougar mellencamp is so very right...
small is, not painless, beautiful...
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